Its not fair…

As I lay awake in the darkness the memories of you folds my every thought. I think back to the stories that my nanang, mom and dad use to tell me of you, the way I always ask for you when I’m sick or the videos that I watch of you holding me when I was a baby, of the times when you cook me food or the nights when you sing me to sleep. As the memories keep folding my every thought, i cant help but cry and miss you.

It makes me mad that my cousins in the Philippines were there with you and were able to see you before you left this world. Its not fair that you were able to see some of your great grandchildren grow up but you haven’t seen me yet and the women I have become. Its just not fair at all that I was not able to see your face, to touch you, or to talk to you one last time. I MISS YOU so dearly that it hurts to even think of all the memories that I remember about you. But I know, that you had lived your life 99 years living on this earth you were ready for GOD to take you.

Now that you are living in another world different from us, I hope Inang that you will see me now and the women that i have become. i hope also that you will become my gaurdian and take care me of how you use to take care of me.

Inang I miss you so dearly and I hope that this transition of me accepting that you are gone will be a smooth one, but its heart breaking to think that you are no longer here. I love you Inang!

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